My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is the high leading the old right now
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
