You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
