I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
