he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
