What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
