i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
