What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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