and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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