Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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