do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
