Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
