dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
