we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
