I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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