Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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