Me too!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
