I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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