Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
