i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
