Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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