Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sobbing to NWA
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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