you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
