I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
