it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
