what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
