she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
