I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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