My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
