Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Pants are for mortals
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
