I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
