dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Four minutes until I can fart!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
