that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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