hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
