i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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