Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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