I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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