Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
