You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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