i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There r osticjed everywhere
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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