i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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