she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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