My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
