why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
