420 ftw
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
