is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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