At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
