perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
