So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
