No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
