Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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