you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
